How to Write Dialogue that Dazzles and Engages Readers
by guest author Gabriela Pereira
Dialogue is one of my favorite things to read (and write) because it’s such an intimate way to get to know a character. You listen to them talk and right away, you feel like you know them in a way that straight narration doesn’t quite accomplish. But we must stay aware that story dialogue is not real dialogue taken down as if through dictation. Story dialogue must be better. Tighter. Here are five things you can do to tighten your dialogue.
1. Avoid Name-Calling
It can be tempting to have the characters in a scene call each other by name. That way the reader knows exactly who’s saying what and doesn’t get confused by who’s talking. The problem with this is that it can feel clunky and cumbersome, and it can pull the reader out of the story. Consider this made-up dialogue.
“Hi, Bob. How’s it going?” Sue said.
“Doing okay, Sue.” Bob replied. “How are you doing?”
Do you see how stiff and artificial that feels? It’s because Sue knows she’s talking to Bob and Bob knows who he is, so her mentioning his name is purely for the reader’s benefit, to make sure the reader knows who’s saying what. And it feels really out of place.
TRY THIS: Use dialogue tags to indicate who’s talking. With the tags above (“Sue said” and “Bob replied”) we don’t even need the names in the dialogue itself. The name-calling is superfluous.
2. Get Rid of Fussy Tags (with moderation)
Some folks are real sticklers for using “said” and believe that no other dialogue tags should exist. I think this rule can be used with moderation. On one hand, I agree that words like “said,” “asked,” and “replied” tend to disappear into the background making the reader focus on what’s being said, instead of how it’s being said.
On the other hand, I do think that sometimes fancier tags can be useful, particularly when they help to convey a particular tone of speech. Words like “whispered” or “shouted” can communicate the emotion behind the spoken text and may be useful in some scenarios.
Where I do put my foot down are with “fussy” tags. These are tags that are so fancy that they draw attention to themselves and overshadow what’s being said. Tags like “he chortled” or “she guffawed” are just… weird. They don’t really make any sense and then come off feeling like the author is working their way through the “said” entry in their Thesaurus.
Don’t do that.
TRY THIS: Use “said” as often as possible because it falls to the background. When appropriate, use “asked” and “replied” and in rare instances—when it really matters—use other tone-related tags like “snapped” or “yelled.” Even better, try getting rid of your tags altogether and use stage directions (i.e., characters’ actions) to indicate who’s talking.
3. Don’t Fall Into the “Talking Head” Trap
Sometimes it’s tempting to have your characters talk to each other and make the dialogue ping-pong back and forth. This can be an effective technique to move the dialogue forward quickly, but it can also leave your reader feeling like the characters are just a bunch of talking heads, not really grounded in time and space.
The way to avoid this feeling of “talking heads” is to add some stage directions, which are actions that the characters do while they are talking. So maybe your character takes a sip of her coffee after saying a line of dialogue. Maybe the other character drums his fingers on the table before he replies. All these little actions help to establish the setting around the characters so it doesn’t just feel like they are talking to each other in a void.
4. Steer Clear of Exposition
Exposition in dialogue is when a character says something not because the other character needs to know it, but in order to convey that information to the reader. Suppose one character says to another: “Dude, you’ve failed all your classes two semesters in a row. Your parents are gonna have a cow.” Clearly “Dude” knows that he’s failed his classes two semesters in a row. He was there. He’s the one who made it happen. There is no reason for his buddy to tell him that in dialogue except that perhaps the writer needs to convey this valuable insight to the reader.
We see the same thing in superhero movies where there comes that moment when the villain starts to monologue and explain all their dastardly plans and why they did what they did. Often that monologue doesn’t tell the hero anything they didn’t already know. It’s more for the audience’s benefit, so that we know the villain’s motivations and what makes them tick.
TRY THIS: If you find yourself starting a line of dialogue with the words “As you know…” stop right there and course-correct. Those words are a dead giveaway of exposition in dialogue because if the character hearing the dialogue already knows that information, then there’s no reason for that other character to say it.
5. Beware of On-the-Nose Dialogue
People in real life don’t say exactly what they mean. The same thing is true in story dialogue. Sure, characters may sometimes be forthright with what they say, but other times they might hold something back. What makes things interesting for the reader is when we get to “read between the lines.” This is where subtext comes in. Subtext is the deeper meaning behind what a character says. This meaning is not literally present in their words, but we can infer it.
Imagine a woman is standing at the kitchen counter, chopping carrots. Her husband walks in, pecks her on the cheek and asks:
“How was your day?”
“Fine.” She thumps her knife against the cutting board with each chop.
Clearly, the woman is not “fine.” Something is obviously bothering her, most likely something relating to her husband, but she doesn’t want to say what it is. We can tell she’s upset because the action that accompanies her line of dialogue appears to directly contradict what she’s saying. This dialogue consists of only a handful of words, but it’s saying much more than just what’s in the speech itself. The subtext speaks volumes.
TRY THIS: Think about how a character’s actions, tone, demeanor, or even their thoughts and emotions might contradict their dialogue and add subtext to what they’re saying. Subtext happens in that intersection between what a character says and what they do, think, or feel. When you have contradictions between those elements, that’s when subtext is most likely to occur.
Observing Dialogue “In the Wild”
In the end, writing tight dialogue is about making sure every word, every nuance is pulling its weight and doing its job. One of the best ways to make sure your dialogue feels realistic is to observe natural dialogue “in the wild.” Of course, real-life dialogue isn’t as crisp and clear as story dialogue, but you can get a good sense for the pace and overall vibe of good dialogue through observation.
One way to observe dialogue in action is to watch a movie or television show that has really good, snappy dialogue-writing. Sit-coms are especially great for dialogue because most of the action happens through character interaction (rather than big action-packed sequences). Choose a TV show or movie that you like and listen to a passage of dialogue. Try to write the dialogue as you hear it, pausing so you can capture as much of it as possible. Once you’ve written a page or so of dialogue, stop watching and read it over, noting the places where you think the dialogue really sparkles.
Another way to get a sense for dialogue pacing and nuance is to go to a public place and eavesdrop for a little while. Sit at a cafe table or some other crowded location and try to listen in to a nearby conversation. Write down as much as you can for about ten minutes, then read it back and note the places where the dialogue really works… and the places where it falls flat. Remember, real-world dialogue is not the same as story dialogue, so expect there to be lots of hems and haws or rambling sections. Still, listening in on real-world conversation will give you a sense for how dialogue is paced and the overall feel for how it’s written.
Once you’ve observed dialogue “in the wild,” make a few notes for yourself on what works and what could be improved. Then sit down to your own writing and try to implement the insights you’ve gained.
Gabriela Pereira is an author, speaker, and entrepreneur who wants to challenge the status quo of higher education. As the founder and instigator of DIYMFA.com, her mission is to empower writers, artists and other creatives to take an entrepreneurial approach to their education and professional growth.
Gabriela earned her MFA in writing from The New School and speaks at college campuses and national conferences. She is also the host of DIY MFA Radio, a popular podcast where she has interviewed bestselling authors and book industry professionals, and author of the book DIY MFA: Write with Focus, Read with Purpose, Build Your Community. For more information or a FREE DIY MFA Starter Kit, go to DIYMFA.com/join.